Death By Firing Squad? I Couldn't Be the Firing Squad.

Coffee Conversation... but not really.

It's a little more serious than typical lighthearted coffee talk around the kitchen table... but the guy who died last week in Utah by firing squad (by his own choice... which I support): Ummm, could you be part of the firing squad?

This is what I thought last night.

I couldn't.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't pull the trigger.

We know he was a bad guy who has killed people. I support capital punishment. I support his choice to die by firing squad but I wonder if he chose it because till now only 3 have chosen it since 1976 and I think he may have been hoping the media coverage and outrage by some would help him in getting a stay in execution.

I know that I could pull the trigger if it was in the heat of the moment and someone was hurting someone in our family. If my life or the lives of our parents or children were in danger I could do it.

But to have to shoot someone in a situation like 'death by firing squad'? I couldn't do it. I don't have that in me.

The five officers that were part of the anonymous death squad? All volunteered for the position. It makes me wonder about what is in their head.

I mangled this post - it's nothing like I planned on writing but I was trying to hurry and finish typing it while at the same time answering and talking to my friend on the phone as he was giving me tons of information on a dear family friend who is likely to pass away (much too young) of cancer this week, updates on a cousin of mine, my Uncle's eye surgery, my brothers new travel plans, my sisters shopping extravaganza , my nephew getting into an accident today - he is fine but the kid who hit him isn't - and a few other topics. I finally was so frazzled I hit "publish" and then had to go back later and read what I wrote. I tried to shorten it a bit so it's been edited from the long(er) rambling mess it was.

Yesterday afternoon I noticed a raggety-taggety looking scrawny bird on our front step outside the door. Well, admittedly, my neighbors cat noticed it first. I hard the 'thud' of him hitting the glass window next to the door and went to investigate when I saw the straggler hanging out on my front step. Looking closer I said to myself, "Hey! You're out of the nest! Awesome!"

It was the baby bird who lives in a nest in a tree just beyond our front stair. Up to this point I've only see the tip of it's beak but apparently it was time to spread its wings and see a little more of the world.

I watched it for a bit and wondered where Mama was. Sure enough I spied her hopping along at the front edge of the lawn, ever watchful of where Baby was.

I took a moment to squat down on my haunches and enjoy the scene playing out in front of me.

Baby Bird didn't have all it's coloring yet and it was having a bad hair day with random feathers sticking up here and there and it's body not quite graceful and beautiful, but still gangling and awkward. Still, it was just as tall as it's Mama. It was interesting to think it was just as tall as it's parent but still so helpless in the world. It still needed Mama to come feed it, watch out for stray cats and chirp warnings and constant "cheeps" to check the location of it.

Mama was hopping around the sidewalk area, careful not to come close to the Baby Bird, but instead, busied herself looking out for it from afar. The Baby jumped off the step and hopped around the grass, oblivious to anything other than itself. Although my neighbor two cats are indoor cats and the Baby Bird was in no danger from our household, I did wonder where our neighbors cat was as they always keep their cat outside to terrorize the neighborhood, bother others cats and rip up patio screens trying to get into house.

Their cat, I knew, would have this Baby for dinner.

Then I realized it wasn't my job to worry about this Baby Bird. That's what his Mama was doing. She knew in order to teach the Baby Bird how to survive, she had to let it learn to fly on its own while watching from a safe distance away. In nature, as always, there is a chance the Baby Bird would wander into the street and get hit. A cat would attack it. Mean children would find it and kill it or other more aggressive birds would spy it and kill it before the Mama could fight them off, but in the end she knew instinctively that this is part of life and she was playing her part from 20 feet away.

The Baby Bird got a burst of courage and took to a wobbling, low flight going towards my neighbors home. Within a split second she was right behind it, chirping her admonishment but following closely.

Later that night I walked by the front window and saw Baby Bird sitting on a support wire at the base of the tree. I stopped to watch for a few seconds and saw it try to maneuver itself to flitter up to a branch. Its lack of knowledge made it attempt to land on a twig the size of a needle with one tiny leaf on the end of it. Obviously it didn't hold the bird and it immediately dropped a bit, fluttered it's wings and plopped to the ground. Lesson learned. You have to choose a stronger branch to land on!

Mama was right there, outside the immediate circle, watching closely and chirping support or again, perhaps admonishment. Her constant chatter always made me aware she was nearby even when I couldn't immediately see her.

Obviously her Baby Bird knew that too.

I smiled as I watched the Baby Bird learning to make it's way in the world why trying so hard to do everything on its own and doing it's best to try to ignore the Mama Bird who was watching out for it. And the Mama Bird standing back 20 to 30 feet and watching her Baby Bird struggle and fail and try again; knowing it will either make it or it won't but it was part of life and she was doing her best to teach it.

Much like 17 year old boys and their Mama's.

HOVERING Parents

This morning I read the news and saw a French fishing vessel has rescued Abby - the 16 year old girl whose boat was crippled in the Indian Ocean. Yesterday I was reading the comments from people saying her parents were terrible for allowing her to attempt the voyage.

I found myself agreeing with some of the comments. I also immediately thought of the cost involved in the worldwide rescue. I thought about the parents letting a 16 year old girl sail around the world alone and how much money we would be spending on rescues and how many lives would be lost if more teenagers got a wild hair to do the same. I didn't dwell on any of these thoughts, but they flitted through my mind in .02 seconds or so.

This morning as Abby has been found and rescued, I read a quote from her parents that, paraphrased, said simply "These days we are too overprotective of our kids... " and I started to think about that and I realize, I agreed with that statement as well.

Last night I watched "The Runaways" and I found myself thinking about Cherie and how she packed her bags and joined the band, and was soon flying to Japan to perform, all without parental or adult supervision. She was fifteen. Had she had a more protective mother she wouldn't have been able to go and the futures of Joan Jett and Lita Ford would have also been adversely affected.

From there my brain reminded me that our wars have been fought, and won with teenagers allowed to enroll in the military. Some of our most amazing music has been written by children and teenagers that were believed in and supported. Our actors and actresses that as children and teens have given us some of the more incredible movies that live long past their own lives (It's a Wonderful Life... Sound of Music... will live on longer than the stars that made them). Daniel Boone killed his first bear when he was three. Our great-grandparents could sew, cook, read and take care of farm chores by the age of 6. There were expectations of them because they were capable of them.

I thought about the 13 year old boy who just two (?) weeks ago climbed to the top of Mount Everest. At the time when I read it I really didn't care and it meant little to me - probably because I have zero interest in mountain climbing but looking from a different perspective, I guess it's great that this parents allowed him to try and supported him in his endeavors.

Kids and teens are capable of so much more than they get credit for as we tend to pamper them and overprotect them and have, in the last decade, become 'helicopter' parents; hovering.

Why? I think in part because we worry about being judged by our peers and also because society has taken away so many rights of parents. Every little thing you do now as a parent is scrutinized by others. If your 2 year old has a bruise on their forehead you are immediately suspect by neighbors, preschool teachers, daycare workers and strangers for beating your child. You have to hesitate to correct them or discipline children now because people will gladly and immediately call police on you. Parents can't even reprimand their awful, misbehaving child in a store or at a park without dirty looks from others. Yet when that child is 12, having had no real discipline, those same adults blame the parent because their twelve year old is so out of control. Of course they are.

Our society today is "guilty until proven innocent" so young parents tend to hover, to over protect and to hold children back because the parents don't want to be blamed if something goes wrong. (How many times have you overheard the Mom or Dad in line at the grocery store or shopping mall a screaming child and they are repeating "No no sweetie. Please don't scream honey. Sweetie, I'll buy you gum if you be quiet now." They know they are being judged but they're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Fifteen or twenty years ago common sense still existed.

Today the police and 'authorities' are called in and the current fashion is "Who can we blame!?" "Someone must pay!" "Take their kids away!" When parents rights are taken away and given over to government the parents have to walk on egg shells. Those eggshells adversely affect how children are raised and parented. Kids are overprotected. Kids are coddled. Kids are pampered and not given the chores and responsibilities of being part of a family. They are often held back from doing amazing things because it's not what a typical 14 year old would do.

I actually feel bad for the parents of this girl, Abby, who was attempting to sail solo around the world. It's wonderful that she was found alive but if her boat had capsized and she had lost her life I guarantee there would be an investigation into the parents and charges brought against them for child neglect and who knows what else! Not only would they be grieving the loss of their child but they would be treated horribly by the government, police and lawyers and be caught up in so much bureaucratic red tape.

Strides are made and the world improves because of the people who dare to break the mold and try new things, new idea's and take a chance. Even if they are teenagers. And really, if you can climb Mount Everest at 13 years old... you are empowered to know you can achieve anything you put your mind to. That's what we all tell our children anyway! These parents are just putting their money (and their faith) where their mouth is.